Building trust in relationships should be your FIRST priority!... |
Just how important is it to build trust in your relationships?...
I'll discuss the answer to that question later on in this article, but have a think about it and ask yourself how important trust is to your relationships...
By the way, when a say relationships, I'm actually referring to any type of relationship, including lover relationships. I bet that's why you're reading this page, right?...
The reason why you are interested in this article is irrelevant, and the fact that you're interested in it is enough for me. So let's get started...
Building trust in relationships - The be all and end all?
So, did you have a think about the importance of building trust in relationships?...
What conclusion did you come to?...
Let me tell you this...
Without trust in a relationship, you have no relationship, it's as simple as that! So disobey someone's trust at your peril, just remember I did warn you. This is probably most true in a relationship between two lovers...
When there is no trust in any kind of relationship, you begin to doubt what the other person says or does, and trust me this is not a good thing, especially if you want to build extraordinary relationships, and you do right?...
Though building trust in a relationship is important, it has to be winnable for both parties. In other words, it MUST be possible for your trust to be won, otherwise what's the point? I know some people who've experienced bad relationships in the past, find it difficult to 'let their guard down', that's understandable, but this can be a bad thing also...
Always remember, at some point in any kind of relationship you're going to HAVE TO enter the unknown, and this involves you trusting the other person...
So YES, trust in a relationship, I guess, is sort of the be all and end all, because without it, your relationship won't get past first base!
Building trust in relationships - Back to the top
How much do you earn?
So, do you earn much?...
No, I'm not talking about money, although their are similarities between trust and money. Why? Because, as with money, trust needs to be earned, basically it's NOT free, so don't expect it to be...
Building trust in relationships is more valuable then money, because once you've lost it, it's bloody hard to get back, and sometimes it's impossible. Trust is precious, so...
IF you ever find yourself in a situation where you could potentially put someone's trust in jeopardy, I suggest you tread carefully, very carefully!
Building trust in relationships - Back to the top
Behind enemy lines
Everybody has a lines you should NEVER cross. Some lines are more minor then others. But everyone has a line that once you cross, you can't come back or it's very difficult to come back from. Trust is no different to this...
If you cross the minor line, you might get a slap on the wrist and told to buck up your ideas. A more serious line, might lead to a massive argument and you might even fall out and stop talking for a while. But then you have the enemy line that even getting close to it would mean that you would have already crossed minor lines getting there...
And so...
My advice to you is real simple...
DON'T CROSS BEHIND ENEMY LINES BECAUSE YOU MIGHT NEVER RETURN!
But just in case you do find yourself behind enemy lines...
Building trust in relationships - Back to the top
You have to walk back
Listen carefully to this bit, write it down if you have to, it's that important to building trust in relationships...
If you find yourself behind enemy lines, remember that you got there by 'foot'. So if you want to return behind 'allied lines', you also have to do it by foot...
Let me explain what I mean...
If you took part in a marathon, you wouldn't take a taxi to the finish line and not expect to be disqualified for cheating, would you?...
See a relationship as a lifelong marathon, and if you take the wrong route (cross the lines you shouldn't cross), then you can't take a taxi back, because that's cheating and you run the risk of becoming disqualified from the race/relationship. You might still be disqualified even if you don't cheat...
Can you see where I'm coming from?...
Building trust in relationships - Back to the top
How to build trust in your relationships
So what are the steps to building trust in a relationship?...
Not breaking someone's trust is a good start, because it's much harder to rebuild it, then it is to build it!
Always be true to your word, or true to the task at hand. So for example, if you agree to pick someone up outside their work place at 5pm, then make sure that is what you do and not a second later.
But there's an even better way to building trust in relationships, do you know what it is?...
Well not only should you be true to your word or the task at hand, you can build trust much quicker by OVER delivering...
So back to our example above...
Instead of being outside the person's work place at 5pm, arrive at 4:45pm and maybe send a text message to the person telling them that you're outside waiting for them. You can even tell them that you turned up early because you didn't want to risk being a second late...
Think how much trust the person will have in you the next time you agree to meet them somewhere. Now of course, picking someone up 15 minutes early is only a small thing, but the point is, you can apply the same principle of OVER delivering, to build any type of relationship trust, on any scale. Take this example for instance...
You're given £1,000 to buy a new television. The person knows the price of the TV is £999.99, so they expect 1p change (they're tight fisted). When you arrive at the shop, you see the TV has been reduced to £699.99, £300 cheaper then the person you are buying it for expected...
You buy the TV and deliver it to the person with their receipt and £300 change. Again, think how much trust that will instill inside the person the next time they need you to buy them a TV.
That's an example of moralistically OVER delivering, in other words, don't try and get away with what you know you can get away with, instead do the moralistically right thing.
Building trust in relationships - Back to the top
REbuilding trust
If you need to rebuild trust, the same principles as above apply, but you just have to OVER, OVER deliver. But that on it's own might not be enough because you need to do something before that. What?...
You need to show remorse. But even
better, would be to also explain why you are feeling remorseful, and
the more heart felt it is, the better. Now as I said earlier, this
isn't guaranteed to work but if it does, remember that there is only so
many times you can do this, because it's effectiveness will rub off the more and more you use it...Some of my best relationships was formed formed this way.
Building trust in relationships - Back to the top
Moving Forward...
Don't disobey someone's trust, you may never be able to get it back. The quick and effective way to building trust in relationships, is to OVER deliver.
In short, trust is really difficult to build, but easy to destroy, and can sometimes be IMPOSSIBLE to rebuild!
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