Become YOUR self talk director, and learn to be your OWN life coach!!! |
First things first...
What is self talk?...
Self talk is the dialogue that goes on in your
brain...
Have you ever seen on television when a character has to make a decision and out of their head pops a devil and an angel? The devil tries to derail all of the angels good advice with negativity disguised as good advice....
Before I go any further, please note that when I refer to devil and angel throughout this article, it's not intended to be religious in any way.
We all have these conversations going on in our minds all the time...
"Are you trying to say that I have a devil and angel living inside my head?"...
Yep!... :-))
OK not quite, but kind of. Think back to an important decision you've had to make, whilst you were weighing up your options did you 'hear' any negative comments that made you feel like not doing what you knew you should?...
If the answer is NO, then you probably wasn't 'listening' closely enough.
Self talk can be a gift and a curse, sometimes at the same time. See it as a battle between good and bad, or an angel vs. the devil. In an identical situation, the conversations that might go on in my brain might be completely different to yours. This is because of the differences in our intellect regarding the particular subject. So for example...
Suppose you and I are down to our last £10. A friend of ours knows that we're broke and so offers us a tip on a horse that's running today in the 3 o'clock. You're a risk taker with the, "you gotta be in it to win it" mentality and you have experience of horse race betting, whereas I'm the complete opposite. Here's what our self talk conversations might 'sound' like...
Me:-
Devil: "You can't do that, are you nuts? How you gonna pay the gas bill, and the electricity bill is due very soon. Anyway, how do you know this horse isn't really a donkey?"
Angel: "I'm not keen on gambling, but you are struggling for money, and your friend sounds very confident about the horses chances. If you decide to do it, I think you should only put on £2 that way you don't get wiped out! GOOD LUCK!!"
You:-
Devil: "Stick the whole lot on the horse"
Angel: "Go for it, only put on £5 though!"
Can you see how the 'conversations' are different? Obviously you might argue that the 'angel' is giving bad advice, or vice versa, but remember, at this stage it boils down to our intellect.
So the time nears 3 o'clock, which means the race is about to start. It's decision time...
Deciding whether or not we take the tip and how much money to put on the horse, all boils down to how our brains are conditioned. In other words, our values. Remember, your the risk taker and I'm really cautious. So...
You might decide to 'lump on' (bet the whole £10), whereas I might decide not to bet at all. Remember, you're brain is conditioned as a risk taker, and mine is the complete opposite.
Sometimes our self talk conversation might be exactly the same (because are intellect is the same), but yet we pick different choices. This is because of our different values.
Remember, self talk can be a gift and a curse. Emotions play a big part in the 'conversations', and certainly your decisions. Click here to read my emotional intelligence article and find out more.
You need to be able to recognise the difference between the 'devil's' and 'angel's' voices, because...
If you follow the 'devil's' advice, you will not be in peak performance mode, and at a worst case scenario, in self destruct mode. For example, suppose you find out your husband/wife has been having an affair, and you hear a voice in your head say, "Take an overdose of some aspirin", you can be pretty sure that's the 'devil' talking.
So how do you know which voice to listen to?...
Simple, but not easy! First off, you need to know right from wrong. What do I mean? If I asked you what 2+2 equals, you should answer 5 (:-)), just checking you were listening), obviously 2+2 equals 4. So if a voice in your head tells you the answer is anything other than 4, you guessed it, that's the 'devil' talking!
"But what about questions that don't have a clear cut answer?"...
That's where understanding self talk gets complicated. Firstly, it makes sense to have strong, sensible values, or in other words, FOUNDATIONS. Before you build a house, good solid foundations must be in place first, the same is true for people. Find out more about building solid foundations by clicking here, there's also a FREE personality test that will evaluate how strong your foundations are.
When you have solid foundations, self talk becomes a no brainer in certain situations that before might have been more challenging. But outside of your foundations is a really useful technique we should ALL use to 'listen' out for the correct self talk voice. So what is it...
In many situations in life, you will undoubtably be hit with a decision to make where you can't work out which of your self talk voices are good or bad. In these situations, it's useful to reverse the roles. So for example...
When I speak to a client about a relationship issue, they might tell me that their partner has become abusive towards them because he/she suspects that my client is having an affair. What never seizes to amaze me is when I'm told that my client's partner has a history of being a serial cheat - Double standards or what?
So what's my point?...
Firstly, before the 'serial cheat' became a 'serial cheat', if they took a second out and reversed the roles and asked themselves, "if my partner did that to me, how would I feel?", they are basically questioning the self talk voice they were about to follow, and hopefully will end up following the 'angel's' voice. This same principle can be applied to many situations in life...
Does that make sense?...
When you conquer your self talk, then you truly posses mental toughness and mind power, essential ingredients for peak performance. Also you can then become your own life coach.
Every thing in this article goes hand in hand with strong foundations, so if you haven't done so already, click here and find out more about foundations and take my FREE foundations personality test.
From this moment onwards, make eavesdropping on your self talk 'conversations' a habit, and I guarantee it'll change your life FOREVER!...
Promise me you'll do that!
What is self talk?...
Self talk is the dialogue that goes on in your
brain...Have you ever seen on television when a character has to make a decision and out of their head pops a devil and an angel? The devil tries to derail all of the angels good advice with negativity disguised as good advice....
Before I go any further, please note that when I refer to devil and angel throughout this article, it's not intended to be religious in any way.
We all have these conversations going on in our minds all the time...
"Are you trying to say that I have a devil and angel living inside my head?"...
Yep!... :-))
OK not quite, but kind of. Think back to an important decision you've had to make, whilst you were weighing up your options did you 'hear' any negative comments that made you feel like not doing what you knew you should?...
If the answer is NO, then you probably wasn't 'listening' closely enough.
A Gift And A Curse
Self talk can be a gift and a curse, sometimes at the same time. See it as a battle between good and bad, or an angel vs. the devil. In an identical situation, the conversations that might go on in my brain might be completely different to yours. This is because of the differences in our intellect regarding the particular subject. So for example...
Suppose you and I are down to our last £10. A friend of ours knows that we're broke and so offers us a tip on a horse that's running today in the 3 o'clock. You're a risk taker with the, "you gotta be in it to win it" mentality and you have experience of horse race betting, whereas I'm the complete opposite. Here's what our self talk conversations might 'sound' like...
Me:-
Devil: "You can't do that, are you nuts? How you gonna pay the gas bill, and the electricity bill is due very soon. Anyway, how do you know this horse isn't really a donkey?"
Angel: "I'm not keen on gambling, but you are struggling for money, and your friend sounds very confident about the horses chances. If you decide to do it, I think you should only put on £2 that way you don't get wiped out! GOOD LUCK!!"
You:-
Devil: "Stick the whole lot on the horse"
Angel: "Go for it, only put on £5 though!"
Can you see how the 'conversations' are different? Obviously you might argue that the 'angel' is giving bad advice, or vice versa, but remember, at this stage it boils down to our intellect.
So the time nears 3 o'clock, which means the race is about to start. It's decision time...
Deciding whether or not we take the tip and how much money to put on the horse, all boils down to how our brains are conditioned. In other words, our values. Remember, your the risk taker and I'm really cautious. So...
You might decide to 'lump on' (bet the whole £10), whereas I might decide not to bet at all. Remember, you're brain is conditioned as a risk taker, and mine is the complete opposite.
Sometimes our self talk conversation might be exactly the same (because are intellect is the same), but yet we pick different choices. This is because of our different values.
Remember, self talk can be a gift and a curse. Emotions play a big part in the 'conversations', and certainly your decisions. Click here to read my emotional intelligence article and find out more.
So, Who's Who?
You need to be able to recognise the difference between the 'devil's' and 'angel's' voices, because...
If you follow the 'devil's' advice, you will not be in peak performance mode, and at a worst case scenario, in self destruct mode. For example, suppose you find out your husband/wife has been having an affair, and you hear a voice in your head say, "Take an overdose of some aspirin", you can be pretty sure that's the 'devil' talking.
So how do you know which voice to listen to?...
Simple, but not easy! First off, you need to know right from wrong. What do I mean? If I asked you what 2+2 equals, you should answer 5 (:-)), just checking you were listening), obviously 2+2 equals 4. So if a voice in your head tells you the answer is anything other than 4, you guessed it, that's the 'devil' talking!
"But what about questions that don't have a clear cut answer?"...
That's where understanding self talk gets complicated. Firstly, it makes sense to have strong, sensible values, or in other words, FOUNDATIONS. Before you build a house, good solid foundations must be in place first, the same is true for people. Find out more about building solid foundations by clicking here, there's also a FREE personality test that will evaluate how strong your foundations are.
When you have solid foundations, self talk becomes a no brainer in certain situations that before might have been more challenging. But outside of your foundations is a really useful technique we should ALL use to 'listen' out for the correct self talk voice. So what is it...
Role Reversal...
In many situations in life, you will undoubtably be hit with a decision to make where you can't work out which of your self talk voices are good or bad. In these situations, it's useful to reverse the roles. So for example...
When I speak to a client about a relationship issue, they might tell me that their partner has become abusive towards them because he/she suspects that my client is having an affair. What never seizes to amaze me is when I'm told that my client's partner has a history of being a serial cheat - Double standards or what?
So what's my point?...
Firstly, before the 'serial cheat' became a 'serial cheat', if they took a second out and reversed the roles and asked themselves, "if my partner did that to me, how would I feel?", they are basically questioning the self talk voice they were about to follow, and hopefully will end up following the 'angel's' voice. This same principle can be applied to many situations in life...
Does that make sense?...
When you conquer your self talk, then you truly posses mental toughness and mind power, essential ingredients for peak performance. Also you can then become your own life coach.
Moving Forward...
Every thing in this article goes hand in hand with strong foundations, so if you haven't done so already, click here and find out more about foundations and take my FREE foundations personality test.
From this moment onwards, make eavesdropping on your self talk 'conversations' a habit, and I guarantee it'll change your life FOREVER!...
Promise me you'll do that!
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