Need relationship help? It's far better if YOU help your relationship! |
No couple should really need relationship help. Why? Because we all
have the capacity to do the job perfectly well, ourselves!...
Furthermore, if you don't do it yourself, you miss out on an incredible opportunity to grow, both as a couple, and individually. All relationships need working on, even the world's 'best' relationship!...
But, it doesn't have to be a pain, instead, it can be very pleasurable, but only if you approach it with the 'right' frame of mind. Hopefully, by the end of this article, you'll understand why you don't need relationship help from elsewhere, and you'll enjoy the whole process!...
But, before we get to that stage, you have to read the article first! So, I guess you better do that then!...
Foundational Values
It goes without saying, it's very important to pick the right partner. I'm sure you can appreciate how this could cause relationship problems to occur. But there's something, arguably, much more important!...
You see, if you pick the wrong partner, that's not the end of the world, obviously you can separate and start again. What I believe is more important is to have rock solid foundations. In other words, strong foundational values.
I know you must have heard the saying, "You reap what you sow", right? Any couple that feels they need relationship help, probably didn't sow anything great at a foundational level. Let me elaborate...
A person's values is the only thing, psychologically, that makes us unique. Basically, if you're a 'bad' person, it's because you have 'bad' values. Your values are your most important 'asset', period! Your values cause the beginning, and the end, of everything in your life that you are in control of...
Including the events that's brought you to this situation where you feel you need relationship help. If you, or your partner, has poor values, it makes no sense to seek relationship help because even if you do solve your relationship problems, they'll no doubt crop up again, sooner or later. Why?...
Because if your values are poor, you'll sow poor seeds, and reap poor crop, and this cycle will just continue. Our values are greatly responsible for where we are in life, including in our relationships. If that's not a good place to be right now, it's probably very likely that either you, your partner, or both of you, need personality help first, and then maybe relationship help...
Do you see where I'm going with this? Good! By the way, I'm not being obnoxious here, I promise!
So in short, if you, 'think', you need relationship help, I commend you on taking positive action on trying to achieve this, however, it would be far more beneficial for you and your relationship, longterm, if you and your partner seriously look into strengthening you values...
And I've got just the thing to help you with that. Introducing, my foundations personality quiz...
Click here and take the personality quiz first, and then decide if you really need relationship help.
How did you get on?...
Look, the score isn't the important thing here, instead, focus on my feedback for your chosen answers and try to understand my rationale. If you scored poorly, I would strongly recommend that you address this...
As they say, prevention is better than the cure, right? And if you want to build extraordinary relationships, this is a MUST!...
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'Touch up' your Personality Portrait
To become a master of some 'thing', you must first understand the 'thing', and how it works. As I mentioned earlier, sort out your values first, and then focus on relationship help. If you and your partner does this, you'll probably even discover you don't really need relationship help after all...
So, you should have taken my foundations personality quiz by now, the next step is to understand how your personality is actually formed.
I called this your personality portrait. Click here to read my theories of personality development...Then, click here to check out my emotional intelligence article, and get to understand your emotions and what they are trying to tell you. This is incredibly powerful when you know how, and I must warn you, it might just change your life, and it might actually be all the 'relationship help' you'll ever need.
And since we're on the subject of relationship help, click here and have a read of my self help relationship advice article.
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Be 'Squeaky' Clean
Well done for getting this far...
If you follow this article seriously, you'll soon discover that it's much better for you to provide your own relationship help. What I'm going to talk about now, in a sense, is probably the relationship help that you initially expected to get from this article...
Of all the relationships I've worked with, there are generally a few things that always keep cropping up. So, below, you'll find my top 8 'relationship help' tips that will help you to build, not just good, but EXTRAORDINARY relationships!...
If you and your partner remain 'squeaky clean', throughout your relationship, you'll never need relationship help! To be 'squeaky clean', is to be faultless on the important things that you should never mess up on. It makes sense to get your partner to read this also, reading it together would be even better!...
1. Change your mentality towards disagreements
See disagreements as a team building 'exercise'. If you handle them right, your relationship will grow stronger. Don't try to compete with your partner in an attempt just to 'win an argument'!
2. Never jump to conclusions and act upon them
Come to conclusions, yes, act upon those conclusions, NO! Remember, it's only a conclusion, it's not fact, which means you could be wrong. You want to be squeaky clean, remember? Always ask yourself, "Could there be another meaning?"
3. Don't let relationship problems fester, talk about them
Speak openly about any issues you have with your relationship. You'll be surprised how quickly a small problem can turn into a major problem, if you allow it to fester. So don't allow that to happen!
4. Listen, empathise and keep an open mind
It can be very gratifying working through problems diplomatically, plus, it means you're less likely to end up 'adding fuel to the fire'! When you have empathy in a relationship, you 'connect' with your partner and begin understanding them better.
5. Make your 'final' conclusion in a bad situation
If you think your partner is 'the bee's knee's', but you didn't come to this conclusion in a 'bad' situation, the 'drop' from your conclusion to reality, can be detrimental to your relationship. In other words, you might become disappointed because you expected so much more!
6. Look for your fault, FIRST!
If you always look for the fault in your partner first, and you find the fault, your brain no longer needs to look any more because the 'question has been answered'. But what if you contributed to the problem in the first place? You'll never know, will you? because your brain isn't 'looking' anymore!
7. Be real
If your partner is truly your 'other half', then treat them that way! One half of your body couldn't be false to the other half, could it? If your relationship is not real, how do you know if you even love your partner, and vice versa?
8. Level the playing field
You can't have a 'proper' relationship if one of you believes they are more superior than the other. When this is the case, in the event of an disagreement, one partner might talk down to the other. Trust me, that's NOT cool!
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Moving Forward...
I guarantee you, if you adhere to these principles, and strengthen your foundations, you'll soon discover that you DON'T need relationship help! But instead, you'll need help prising yourself away from each other...
And that my friend...
Is how you can, not only, build a rock solid, meaningful, EXTRAORDINARY relationship, and more importantly, take giant steps towards living your DREAM Life!...
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