End Abusive Relationships in as little as 1 Second with these 4 Steps! |
We all deserve to live an extraordinary life. This whole website is
dedicated to showing you how to do that, as well as, telling you how
you DON'T
do it! Hence the need for this article...
I'm sure you already know, abusive relationships are not congruent with happiness, and certainly not with living a DREAM life.
In just 1 second, you can begin your journey of rediscovering your happiness by putting an end to any abusive ties you might have, for good!
If your relationship(s) are abusive, you really only have one choice...
TO END
IT!...
But not necessarily in the way you might think, I'll explain what I mean, later. But first, lets look at the different types of abusive you might encounter in a relationship...
Types of Abuse
Generally, there are 4 different types of abusive relationships. Physical, Mental/Emotional, Sexual and Financial abuse.
Physical Abuse
Without a doubt, physical assault is the most blatantly obvious form of abuse, and naturally can be the most detrimental, but worst of all, can end in a fatality. As with all types of abuse, it often starts off small, and gradually escalates...
Over time, the violence usually becomes more and more frequent.
Sexual Abuse
Basically, any sexual encounter without consent, is classed as sexual abuse. This includes Kissing, forced sexual activities and any form of sexual exploitation...
The abuser may even resort to violence, in an attempt to get what they want. Studies have shown, where physical violence is present in abusive relationships, any sexual abuse often includes violence. The abuser may even use mental abuse as a tool to manipulate the sexual act...
Often, married couples, or people involved in a long standing relationship, are left confused as to whether they have in fact been sexually abused.
Mental/Emotional Abuse
No matter which way you view it, any type of abuse is NOT cool, and is unfair. Mental abuse should never be down played. Unlike other forms of abuse, metal abuse can be very difficult for the victim to detect, and often goes undetected...
Mental/emotional abuse steadily chips away at the victims self esteem. Worse still, Physical or sexual abuse almost always accompanies, or follows emotional abuse. It is a sad fact, but abusers can, mentally and emotionally, 'batter' the victim so much so to 'convince' them that the abuse is their own fault.
Financial Abuse
Financial abuse can be anything from, not allowing access to funds, to the abuser blowing money and pinning the blame on the victim. The abuser uses money as a tool to control the victim...
This can be by ensuring either the victim's financial dependence is on the abuser, or shifting the responsibility of keeping a roof over the family's head onto the victim while simultaneously denying your ability to do so or obstructing it.
Reading the Signs...
Before I get into explaining the typical tell tale signs of an abusive relationship, I would like to point out something very important...
Sometimes, in the early onset of abusive relationships, there are plenty of revealing clues that, if recognised early, could have rang alarm bells in the victims head and, potentially, could have prevented the relationship from developing...
I promise you, I'm not trying to rub salt into the wounds of victims of abusive relationships, NO, far from it. Make no mistake, abusive relationships are just wrong, and there is absolutely NO excuse for them, but I want to make sure that it never happens to you or anybody else, again!...
Anyway, with that said, here are some of the typical traits abusers might have, along with things to be cautious of:
- Jealousy
- Controlling Behaviour
- Fast moving relationships
- Overly dependent on you
- Attempts to isolate you
- Blame-shifting (for both Problems and Feelings)
- Over sensitive/low self-esteem
- Cruel to Animals or children
- 'Playful' use of Force during Sex
- Rigid Gender Roles
- Verbally Abusive
- A Jekyll and Hyde personality
- Drink/Substance Abuse
- A History of Battering or Sexual Violence
- Negative Attitude towards the opposite sex
- Threats of Violence
- Breaking or Striking Objects
- Any Force during an Argument
Step 1 - Stop IT - NOW!
OK, the first bit of advice that I would give to anybody that is involved in abusive relationships is to end it, NOW - Yesterday even! But, as I said earlier, I don't necessarily mean this in the way you might think...
End
the abusive relationships,
but not necessarily the relationship...
I'll talk about deciding whether or not to end the actual relationship, in a bit. The point I'm making here, is this...
Nobody deserves to be abused, it just should never happen, and with that being the case, any abuse must be stopped - IMMEDIATELY! The next step, is to decide where you want to go with the relationship, which is what I'm going to talk about now...
Step 2 - Emotional Intelligence
This bit is really important, so pay close attention...
This is the bit where it's crucial that you have good emotional intelligence. Why? Because this is the point where you need to decide what you want to do with the abusive relationship. You need to be adept at understanding what your emotions are telling you...
I urge you to check out this article, here's the link again - Emotional Intelligence article.
I MUST WARN YOU!!!
It is generally a good idea to 'step outside of your body' whilst mulling over your decision. Unfortunately, for various different reasons, your emotions can trip you up...
For instance, you might feel that you don't want to end the abusive relationship because you're scared of being on your own, or maybe you keep having the feeling, "I know I should end this relationship... But I love him/her!"
On the other hand, you might feel so angry and hurt, that you do something very irrational, and potentially ruin a 'solvable' abusive relationship.
Make sure to always remember - this is about you, and NOT the abuser, so do the right thing for YOU!
If you're struggling with this, perhaps putting your life into some sort of perspective might help. Knowing the meaning of life, or at least, having a theory about it, may help you to solve the puzzle. Check out the article now.
Whatever you do, while you're rationalizing the situation, do it unemotionally.
Step 3 - To Build or NOT Build?
I know you've probably heard the saying, "born with a silver spoon in the mouth". In case you didn't already know, this means to be handed everything on a plate. When you work hard at acquiring something, you generally respect and cherish it more...
You see, it's very gratifying when you have an extraordinary relationship that you had to work on, to make it the way it is. Furthermore, I believe a relationship, any relationship, can't be classed as extraordinary, until, you've had some rough times that need working through...
My message is simple, I would always strongly recommend, wherever possible, try to work through your problems. But remember...
Some abusive relationships should be ended immediately and NOT worked
through.
Here are a few of my articles I recommend you read:
For my general relationship advice on how to build extraordinary relationships, click here. I certainly recommend you read this one.
Maybe my self help anger management techniques might be helpful, for the victim or the abuser.
Another potentially important article, is my techniques to tackle a low self esteem. This is important because many abusive relationships result in the victim having a low self esteem.
Step 4 - Get Help...
No matter what you do with this article, please, please, PLEASE seek out some further help. In other words, don't suffer in silence. Thankfully, there are organizations and websites set up to help people who are victims of abusive relationships.
A good support network is absolutely crucial, for example, friends, family, other victims, etc. A good website that you might want to checkout is:
http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk. This website has been set up specifically to help and support victims of abusive relationships, so be sure to check it out. - This link opens in a new window
Moving Forward...
Since the purpose of this site is to teach you how to live your DREAM life, it's only right that I do exactly that. It is a tragedy for anyone not to live a fantastic life, especially if it's because of an abusive relationship...
If you are interested in living your DREAM Life, I'm sure you'll agree, you can't do it if you are involved in an abusive relationship. So if you're in one - END IT NOW! The abuse that is, and then decide what you want to do with the relationship.
In closing, I want to remind you of my saying that I use all the time, "Bad is Good, if you allow it to be!". I know it's not easy sometimes, but in all bad situations, if you look hard enough, there is an opportunity to grow.
I definitely recommend you read my relationship advice article, as it discuses some simple tips on building extraordinary relationships.
It takes 1 second to decide to change your life. So what are you going to be doing in the next few seconds?...
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